Feminine boys vs Tomboys

I'm not one for gender stereotyping. My little boy has a pink sippy cup and regularly plays with the dolls at playgroup. (The sippy cup was due to lack of options and the dolls were purely his choice)

I'm fine with that and don't see anything wrong with it however, some members of the playgroup try to coax him with the trucks and other "boys" toys as if he shouldn't be playing with the doll in the pushchair because he's a boy.

So, I've been thinking. Why is a girl who's a tomboy more accepted within society than a boy who enjoys girly things, such as dressing like a ballerina?

Do you think a boy who is allowed to play with "girls" toys is more likely to become an effectionate and more nurturing adult?

Or a girl who's allowed to play with "boys" toys is more likely to strive towards a career in a male dominated sector?

Do you think there are any negative points to not sticking to "gender specific" toys, clothes etc?

Would very much like to hear your thoughts on this.

I don't think it matters what you let your kids play with, they are always going to turn out how they turn out and I don't think the type of toy would change that.

Don't you think that what kids do as kids has any affect on them as adults?

If a girl child is allowed and encouraged to play with "boy toys" , and then goes on to a male dominated career, or a boy is allowed to play with girl toys and becomes a nurturing person, or goes into a "softer" line of work- don't you think it would have more to do with the parenting than they toys and type of play? They were raised by parents who nurtured all sides of them, and encouraged them to follow what interested them. They were open to what their child became, not cubbie holing them.

My son (20) played with dolls, and stuffed kitties (Of which he still has most of *shhh, don't tell! lol *TRICKY, THIS MEANS YOU!!!*) was given ice skating lessons, and was encouraged to express himself. Today he is very nurturing with his little siblings, and wants several children of his own. He's an artist, a budding chef, and a very openly loving person. He wears a beard, loves curvy women, and is not afraid to wear purple or cry in front of someone.
My daughter (16) was given martial arts lessons, taught how to fire a gun, had toy trains and tractors and bug collections. She wants to go into forensic science (Still a predominately male field in this country) and is tough as nails- she's petite, but will go toe to toe with anybody she feels is being unjust to someone. She's soft and feminine and dreams of a big wedding and a little house with kids-

I plan on raising these tiny ones of mine in much the same manor- giving them all the experiences listed above and whatever else we can bring their way- and I hope to create two more well rounded individuals

alien_babe2300 wrote:

Don't you think that what kids do as kids has any affect on them as adults?

Sure! But I don't think it's purely down to the toys a little one plays with. It depends on so many things not just "gender specific" toys. I think kids are more likely to go into specific jobs as adults if their parents do limit to specific toys because of gender. But that also goes for after school club, house chores and so on.

I agree I think it's more parenting but I'm sure toys do play a part somewhere as they all help to build up experiences and memories too. Being a tomboy can go one of two ways also, as an adult the girl may become "one of the lads" meaning she doesn't have to fight for acceptance or it could make her bulshy and determined.
In the same way with boys, I mean look how many male nurses there are now! That has to be put down to a more afeminate upbringing. Nursing is more caring than the old stereotypical doctor job a male would normally have engaged in years ago.

I say let them be who they want to be. Noah enjoys sewing and dancing and singing but also enjoys trains and cars and riding his bike. William is into anything and everything. Noah at one point had more girl friends than boys too.

I would hate if I had a boy that acted girly. It's easier to accept a girl that is a tomboy.

Bauss, any thoughts on why? Tomboys may be more accepted but surely gender equality should mean that a girly boy is accepted just as much?

I'd say do not gender stereotype. I hate all of this pink and blue nonsense.